Criticism & Not Good Enough

If criticism hits you harder than it "should," there is usually an older story underneath -- a time when not being good enough had real consequences. Your protector part goes on high alert because it learned that imperfection meant danger.

• 1Unrelenting standards: "I must be perfect or I am worthless."
• 2Defectiveness schema: "There is something fundamentally wrong with me."
• 3Harsh inner critic part that attacks before others can.

• 1After receiving feedback, name one thing that was accurate and one thing that was not.
• 2Practice saying "Thank you for telling me" without explaining or defending, once this week.
• 3Write a sentence to your inner critic: "I hear you. I am not in danger right now."