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Work: Authority & Pressure
When work stress, perfectionism, or authority figures trigger old patterns
Quick Calm: STOP Skill
90 sec guided practice
Why this happens
Work triggers often mirror childhood dynamics with authority. A critical boss, an impossible deadline, or being overlooked in a meeting can activate the same patterns you developed to survive as a child.
Common patterns
- 1Unrelenting standards: "If I slow down, everything will fall apart."
- 2Subjugation: "I cannot say no or set limits with authority."
- 3Failure schema: "I am going to be exposed as incompetent."
Next-time experiments
- 1Before your next meeting with a trigger person, write down: "I am an adult. I have choices."
- 2Practice one boundary this week: "I can get that to you by [realistic date]."
- 3At the end of the day, name one thing you handled well. Just one.
Repair script
"I realize I [overcommitted / got defensive / went quiet] in that conversation. Here is what I actually want to communicate: [clear statement]."